We'll Always Have Paris -- A Cynical Musing

I'm not normally one who follows -- much less even cares about -- the lives of current celebrities. With a three-year-old daughter at home who is coping with the daily challenges in her young life, I get more than enough angst and drama and don't have to rely on Hollywood to provide me with even more. However, there's something about this whole "Paris Hilton get-out-of-jail early because I'm sick, but really because I'm a spoiled rich kid" thing going on that has managed to stick in my craw. When I was growing up, the kind of behavior she displays would have been met in my family with some sort of punishment from my parents -- a spanking, being sent to my room without dinner, etc. My, how times of changed -- but we weren't rich, either, so maybe the rules were different.

Obviously, I'm not directly involved in the whole "rich kid does prison" process, but somehow a storyline of "You Broke the Law -- You've Got 45 Days in Jail -- Okay, Not Really; How about 23 Days -- Okay, We're Letting You Go After 3 Days -- But You Have to Wear an Ankle Bracelet" is a massive cop-out, and shows a total lack of guts on the part of the Los Angeles County sheriff and everyone else who seems more adept at caving to the publicity rather than caving to the need to treat all folks in prison the same and with impartiality. I'm sure there are prisoners who have much more legitimate health problems than the alleged health drama Paris is experiencing, and they remain confined.

Yes, perhaps Paris Hilton really is a troubled young lady like so many we've seen over the years, and perhaps she does need help. But I can't decide if she's just playing the public like a violin, or if she's really that damn stupid. Everyone deserves prayers, but I think in this case we should be praying for the public at large who has to endure all of this garbage -- and particularly when it's garbage like this that knocks legitimate stories off the news. What sort of conversations do they have in the newsrooms at night?

Producer: Okay, what do we want to lead with tonight? Suggestions?
Reporter 1: Well, the administration is ramping up pressure on the Sudanese government and is imposing sanctions.
Reporter 2: The CDC has announced a potential breakthrough in the treatment of diabetes.
Reporter 3: Paris Hilton got drunk last night....
Proudcer: That's our lead!!!!

All of this to say that the Los Angeles Times ran a rather amusing column on what Paris is (or was) thinking while she was in jail. Entitled "The Paris Hilton Prison Diaries," here are some excerpts:

Day 1: Arrived late Sunday night. So tired. Asked if I could check into my room immediately. Quite possibly the rudest concierge I have ever met. I told him he was fired. Not the effect I'd hoped for... What kind of hotel forces you to strip and delouse (maybe Marriott?). Although instead of a robe I got a fabulous orange jumpsuit with a cute number on it. Nothing to do at night. I'm told (as there was, like, no information in my room) that there is no bar or lounge area. I wish I'd brought flats.

Day 5: Gandhi went to prison. So did Martin Luther King, Jr. So did Robert Downey, Jr. and Martha Stewart, Jr. and I think Nelson Mandela, Jr. Mandela was imprisoned for, like, 50 years or something for being black and also for driving an uninsured vehicle, if I'm reading Wikipedia correctly. Nicky often mentions me and Gandhi and how incredibly thin we both are and how she wonders if he used bronzer.

Day 10: There is no TV, no iPod, no cellphone. Just — I hope I'm spelling this right — "boks" or maybe "bowks." Whatever. I took a few from the cart and have been looking at the covers. Then, last night, I looked inside and there are, like, a million words, page after page. Are these new?

Lord, help us all -- and my daughters are on notice that behavior like this won't be tolerated!!