New Dalai Lama Documentary

I ran across these two trailers for a documentary on the Dalai Lama that is currently working its way through the film festival circuit and should receive a wider theatrical release later this year. Looks very interesting...

Losing a Friend

I have lost a friend. My wife has lost someone who for much of her life was as close to being a sister as you can get without being joined by blood, and as maid of honor one of the very few she choose to stand with her at the altar during our wedding.

I was about to board a plane yesterday, due to fly back from a conference in Albany, when the emails started coming across my blackberry -- C. was 37 years old, nine months pregnant, and had suffered a serious heart attack. The baby had been delivered, but C. was still in very grave condition.

During the flight, I started praying, and the more I prayed the more discomfort I felt in my own chest. It was a feeling I couldn't explain, other than perhaps I was somehow taking a bit of the pain onto myself.

There was no news overnight or this morning, and we continued to pray that things were getting better. And then late this morning, the news that C. had passed away. What's worse, we've now heard that she had had three heart attacks in recent days, and that as a result of oxygen deprivation the baby is now in a much more guarded condition.

She was so young, and I can't even begin to imagine what her husband must be going through. What was once the promise of a growing family is now one that must be overwhelmed by grief over the loss and worry over the new little life that came into the world.

When you say your prayers today, please include C. and the young family she leaves behind -- and my wife, who is going through a type of loss that I don't think she's ever experienced.

Time with One of My Religious Mentors

Earlier this month, I had the opportunity to attend a wonderful seminar with one of my favorite Episcopal clergypersons and writers, Barbara Crafton, held at my childhood church in Lynchburg, Virginia. For those who may not have heard of her before, Barbara was at one time rector and/or on staff at several churches in Manhattan, and served as a chaplain at Ground Zero in the immediate aftermath of the 9-11 attacks. In recent years, she has been the creative force behind the Geranium Farm, her home and the source of countless daily meditations, devotionals, books, and inspiration for millions of readers.

The conference she was leading was entitled "Loving Your Enemy" and was a discussion of how we can begin the healing process for the hurt resulting from our hatred of others, and how we not only can learn to forgive those people but can -- in our mind and heart -- once again make them a part of humanity. I was pleased at the turnout for the main day of the conference (nearly 80 people), and heard that the cocktail reception and talk she gave on the evening before were even more well-attended.

She divided her talk into three parts, and rather than try and reconstruct everything that was said I would like instead post some notes that I took and hope that they'll generate some discussion here.

Part I - Why do we have enemies?

• Main reason is because they are different from us.
• Difference is a morally neutral concept, but we make it moral.
• One of the biggest points of debate today is the issue of immigration -- and who are the primary enemies of immgrants? The children of other immigrants.
• The world is full of annoying people -- why does any one in particular touch your heart the way he or she does?
• We have a need to keep people who are different from us at a distance, and when we do encounter them we get angry because we see how much of us is in them, and how much of them is in us.

Part II - How does God take the grounds for unity and actually create unity?

• The way to that world of unity is through prayer.
• Prayer is small, but tough.
• What is prayer was in fact a petition to a sort of obedient genie? Would your enemy really be safe in your hands if you prayed to this being? Would your prayer for that person really be a curse?
• When we pray, there's something in us that is sure we'd better make our prayers sound like the King James version of the Bible, or Rite I in the Book of Common Prayer.
• When you pray blessings on your enemy, your really don't mean it -- but it's not a conscious decision that you're making.
• Don't use prayer to curse someone, and don't lie when you pray and make up things that you think God wants to hear.
• You don't have to make up a bunch of Sunday school platitudes for someone you can't stand.
• The first thing to do to approach a place of reconciliation with your enemy is simply to say his name.
• When you think of your enemy and feel the blood start pumping and your heart start racing, you're having an allergic reaction to that enemy.
• Whenever you pray, say the name of your enemy; in so doing, you're introducing tiny bits of your enemy into a system that has become allergic to him.
• If you do this consistently over a period of days, weeks, months, and years, you'll notice that things are getting better -- that the swelling in your soul caused by this person is starting to go down.
• There's no shame in being unable to forgive or unite, because your soul is swollen.
• You have to trust that God knows better than you what to do; when you introduce the name of your enemy into your prayers, God will take it from there.
• There is no level for a crime that makes it unforgiveable; we are either all forgiveable or all unforgiveable.
• Praying for your enemy means that they ultimately reenter the human race as far as you are concerned; this prayer changes you and it changes the person for whom you are praying.

Part III - If you're talking all the time, how can God get a word in edgewise?

• Let God do the heavy lifting; one of our fears is that He won't -- and what we fear most is that he can't.
• When you're praying for yourself, don't say your own name; instead, use an image of yourself and put yourself at a distance. Picture yourself as a child, for instance, wearing the favorite clothes from childhood.
• Praying for someone opens a path between you and them; the more you pray, the more trodden that path.
• When you pray for the fallen, you are also joined in prayer with the enemy.
• Pray for your enemy first; unless your enemy is acknowledged and faced, it will sabotage the spiritual person you want to be.
• The primordial definition of sin is putting ourselves in God's place.

One of the most amazing comments of the morning was made by a gentleman in the audience, who said that the goal should be "To allow ourselves to be known as God is known, and to know as God knows."

The entire event was outstanding and very moving, and concluded with a Eucharist in the sanctuary where I and several other folks read the lessons and the prayers and then we all received communion while standing in a circle around the altar.

I would encourage you to go to Barbara's website, find her books, and see what she has to say. I guarantee it will impact you in ways you can't imagine or for which you are prepared.

A Repeated Post, but Well Worth It

In the two years that I've been doing this blog, I've never recycled a post; I figure once I've said something, there's no point going back. However, today I was reminded of a post I put up way back in August of 2006 after hearing the song "I Can Only Imagine," by Mercy Me. I definitely think it's worth sharing again, because the sentiment it expresses -- unlike much of what I say on this blog -- IS worth going back to time and again.

I put it up today in honor of my friends who are struggling with illness, with stress, with looming changes in their lives, and with any other adversity that may be tagging along on their journeys.
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"Love Doesn't Get Much Stronger Than This"

While trying to decide what to write about today -- our trip to Williamsburg this past weekend, the latest exploits of my daughter, prattling on about life in Washington -- I received an e-mail from my wife which follows. I don't think anything on earth could be a more powerful demonstration of love. Once reading the message, which is a recent article by Rick Reilly in Sports Illustrated, be sure to click the video link that follows -- and if it doesn't bring a tear to your eye and a smile to your heart, I don't know what will.

"Strongest Dad in the World" [From Sports Illustrated, By Rick Reilly]

Eighty-five times he's pushed his disabled son, Rick, 26.2 miles in marathons. Eight times he's not only pushed him 26.2 miles in a wheelchair but also towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars--all in the same day.

This love story began in Winchester, Mass., 43 years ago, when Rick was strangled by the umbilical cord during birth, leaving him brain-damaged and unable to control his limbs.

"He'll be a vegetable the rest of his life;'' Dick says doctors told him and his wife, Judy, when Rick was nine months old. "Put him in an institution.''

But the Hoyts weren't buying it. They noticed the way Rick's eyes followed them around the room. When Rick was 11 they took him to the engineering department at Tufts University and asked if there was anything to help the boy communicate. "No way,'' Dick says he was told. "There's nothing going on in his brain.''

"Tell him a joke,'' Dick countered. They did. Rick laughed. Turns out a lot was going on in his brain.

Rigged up with a computer that allowed him to control the cursor by touching a switch with the side of his head, Rick was finally able to communicate. First words? "Go Bruins!'' And after a high school classmate was paralyzed in an accident and the school organized a charity run for him, Rick pecked out, "Dad, I want to do that.''

Yeah, right. How was Dick, a self-described "porker'' who never ran more than a mile at a time, going to push his son five miles? Still, he tried. "Then it was me who was handicapped,'' Dick says. "I was sore for two weeks.''

That day changed Rick's life. "Dad,'' he typed, "when we were running, it felt like I wasn't disabled anymore!''

And that sentence changed Dick's life. He became obsessed with giving Rick that feeling as often as he could.

Now they've done 212 triathlons, including four grueling 15-hour Ironmans in Hawaii.

This year, at ages 65 and 43, Dick and Rick finished their 24th Boston Marathon, in 5,083rd place out of more than 20,000 starters.

"No question about it,'' Rick types. "My dad is the Father of the Century.''

Rick, who has his own apartment (he gets home care) and works in Boston, and Dick, retired from the military and living in Holland, Mass., always find ways to be together. They give speeches around the country and compete in some backbreaking race every weekend, including this Father's Day.

That night, Rick will buy his dad dinner, but the thing he really wants to give him is a gift he can never buy.

"The thing I'd most like,'' Rick types, "is that my dad sit in the chair and I push him once.''

Comedy Break

One of the greatest Conway-Korman skits ever -- any scene where they can't keep it together is a classic!

Witness to History

Last week, I received an email invitation to a rally for Barack Obama that was scheduled today at American University. It didn't take me long to decide to attend, thinking that this would be an opportunity to see someone who may very well be the next president -- and I wanted a chance to experience for myself the excitement and electricity that Obama has been generating at events all across the country. Of course, when it was announced that Obama had secured the endorsements of both Caroline Kennedy and Senator Ted Kennedy -- and the accompanying sense that the Kennedy family had passed the torch to this new generation of Democrats -- it made today's event all the more historic (and with my love of history, one that I definitely wasn't going to miss).

When I woke up this morning, A. informed me that she had seen on the news that folks had started lining up at the arena on campus at 5:15 this morning -- and that solved the dilemma of whether I should drive to work and then cab to the arena, or drive straight there. I was expecting the worst when I arrived, considering it was almost 8:00, but I was pleasantly surprised to find that I was somewhere around 160th or so in line. Settling in for the two-hour-plus wait in barely-above-freezing temperatures, I watched as the line quickly grew from several hundred to several thousand, and for the longest time I was -- by at least a decade -- the oldest person there.

Standing in the midst of so many college kids gave me a great opportunity to listen to their conversations on just about everything imaginable: politics, sports, classes, dating, professors -- you name it. It also gave me a great opportunity to discover that there is still a divide between the enthusiasm these kids are developing about the political process and this year's candidates and acting on their newfound sense of civic responsibility. One young lady was telling a friend of hers that her state votes in next week's Super Tuesday elections, and she didn't realize until her mother called her yesterday that she never requested an absentee ballot -- almost with an "Oh, well; not much I can do about it now" attitude. I will say the funniest line of the morning was uttered by a young man a few places ahead of me in line, who said, "Well, I still haven't decided who I'm going to endorse." (I couldn't help but chuckle at that: Kennedy; McCaskill; unnamed kid standing in line...)

The line eventually got so long that campus officials had to break it from its wrap around the block and move it off in a straight line (one of my sister's sent me a message during the event and said that the news was reporting thousands more standing in line, traffic at a standstill, and people dancing in the streets). Despite the fact the doors weren't due to open until 10:30, they were opened 30 minutes early, and the crowd moved forward as calmly and orderly as a group that was nearly frozen could. Routine security checks, and then it was into the arena.

I was there early enough that I could have taken a position on the floor in front of the podium, but my back and feet were already hurting quite a bit after two hours on the pavement and I opted instead for a good seat behind and to the left of the platform. Over the next hour, the crowd flooded in; every available spot to stand or sit was quickly taken, and the fire marshal ultimately had to close the doors to the building because of the fire hazard (leaving, from what I understand, a huge crowd outside the arena). I was fortunate to be seated next to a nice older gentleman (and, when they could finally come in to find him, his wife and another friend) and behind a family with a little boy who was never quite sure why he was there, but was very enthusiastic when it came time to hold up his sign (and made himself the focus of several dozen cameras in the immediate vicinity).

Following several numbers performed by an a capella men's group from the university (the leader of whom joked on the microphone that they appreciated everyone coming, and had never performed in front of a crowd that large), the Kennedy clan and Obama hit the stage to a roar from the crowd that was indescribable. The enthusiasm and excitement that I had seen on television and had thought I had found was most definitely there; it wasn't even the type of screams and applause that moved across the room in a wave -- it was quite literally an explosion.

I'll say at this point that even with the interest I've been showing in Obama and his candidacy lately, I entered this even with this interest tempered by a certain degree of skepticism. After all, here I was, pretty much a lifelong Republican, walking into a room full of folks from across the aisle. I had even mentioned to the gentleman sitting next to me that I felt somewhat out of place, despite thinking of myself as a disgruntled Republican (a comment met with a smile and not cries of "Blasphemy!" that I would have expected a year ago).

I was surprised at the outset with an appearance by Patrick Kennedy (congressman from Rhode Island and Ted's son), who started the speeches with his own endorsement of Obama. I'm not sure if anyone really knew that he was coming, but it turned the backing of the Kennedy family into a sort of daily trifecta. Patrick yielded the floor to Caroline Kennedy, who took her turn at the podium to state her reasons for supporting Obama (basically the same points she included in the column she penned for the New York Times over the weekend); at one point, someone behind her yelled that they loved her, and she turned and gave a shy, almost flirty sort of smile and wave to the crowd.

When Ted got up to speak, I almost caught myself not listening -- he of the far-left liberalism, and I of the right-to-middle-of-the-road approach to things; what was there to listen to? Instead of listening to what he was saying, though, I listened to how he said it: that familiar Kennedy accent, the images of his brothers speaking before similar crowds in their own runs for the White House, the rhetoric that charged up the crowd and got them going even more than they already were. Agree with him or not, I certainly can't deny that he is a great speaker in the right environment at the right time, and for him -- and his family's legacy -- that time was today.

And then it was time for the man of the hour, and by this point I think that folks were hoping that he wouldn't delve into a policy speech. Senator Obama most definitely didn't disappoint, giving instead a very inspiring speech that touched on the constantly-delivered theme of change without actually using the word. It was a speech designed to inspire and to motivate; a speech designed to get folks energized and involved; a speech designed to get people moving in a common direction -- in fact, a speech that seemingly echoed the power of Robert Kennedy's famous little line: "There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?"

He really seemed to feel the crowd, and it struck me at one point that he was somehow lifting the crowd from their seats and from the floor and symbolically putting them on the stage next to him so that they were all looking in the same direction: towards the future. He even got me, the skeptical gray-haired Republican, to move up on the stage with him.

I wasn't around for either Jack or Bobby Kennedy, and only know from books, documentaries, and my family the level of excitement they generated. Today, for the first time in my lifetime, I saw someone else that was reaching across all the boundaries that we in this country have thrown up over the years and bringing folks together to share in a common vision. Critics may say he's not really saying anything, that he has no plan, that he only appeals to a certain demographic of the population.

At this point, I still don't know for whom I'm voting, but to those critics I would say, "Be quiet and listen, and watch, and learn -- he's saying a lot, he has a vision, and he appeals to more folks than even I realized.

What Will We Do WIth This Opportunity?

Last night, A. and I watched "Bobby," a film that came out in 2006 and is the fictional retelling of the lives of multiple characters at Los Angeles' Ambassador Hotel in the hours leading up to the assassination of Robert F. Kennedy. I was pretty impressed with the movie, even with its not-so-subtle anti-war and anti-Bush messages (the latter being indirectly referenced in a scene where campaign workers are explaining the new punch-card system of voting, and how everyone should make sure that there were no chads hanging on the back), and was very struck by the way the movie did such a good job of what I've always imagined was the overwhelming emotion in the hotel following the shooting.

One of the most powerful parts of the entire film was at the end, as the viewer is able to listen to Kennedy's "The Mindless Menace of Violence" speech (which I had never heard). For those who may not be familiar, you can listen to it below:


I've been thinking a lot today about how much (politically) we have been robbed of in our history, and how it alway seems to happen in an almost cyclical manner (albeit in uneven cycles). The promise of John Kennedy gave way to the horror of his assassination. The momentum generated by the leadership of Martin Luther King was slowed for a time after his murder. And in the shadow of those events, Americans found in Bobby Kennedy someone who restored their excitement and optimism about the future -- only to have that, too, ended by a bullet.

Now, we're seeing a whole new time of excitement and the promise of bringing the two halves of the country together again after all the years of arguing and fighting and undercutting. Will we take advantage of this opportunity to start again, or will we let this go right on by and stick with the system that has turned 75 percent of the country against the president and 80 percent against Congress? Will we look back ten years from now and see that we used the 2008 elections as momentum to make a real difference, or will we be looking back and saying, "Nothing changed?"

I thought about a lot of this as I got out of the house today and took a blustery walk around Arlington Cemetery, stopping at the foot of the hill below the Lee Custis House and spending a few moments at Jack and Bobby Kennedy's graves. Looking at the flame reminded me of what we've done to our own country in the past, and also the fact that it symbolizes the fire that has been reignited among millions of people to make a real difference -- in their families, their neighborhoods, their cities, and their country?

What choice will we make?

For Ds, Rs, and Indies, a Great Speech

Even now, 24 hours later, this is still an impressive speech -- regardless of background or political affiliation. It's definitely one that will be remembered for quite some time, both for the significance of Obama's accomplishment and because of how good an orator he really is...

Caucus Day; How Much of a Prognosticator Am I?

For the first time in many years, I've gotten extremely interested in the outcome of the caucuses and primaries -- and at a relatively late point, considering how long the campaign season has already been running. Before the results in Iowa move too far along, let me throw up my predictions, based on absolutely nothing except my gut:

Democratic Caucus

Barack Obama
John Edwards
Hillary Clinton

Republican Caucus

Mike Hucakabee
John McCain
Mitt Romney

Update number 1 (8:52 p.m.): Democrats - Clinton 33, Edwards 33, Obama 32
Republicans - Huckabee 36, Romney - 23, Thompson - 14

Update number 2 (10:52 p.m.): Democrats - Obama 38, Edwards 30, Clinton 29
Republicans - Hucakabee 34, Romney 25, Thompson - 13

Enough of the results have come in that they've called it for both sides, so Obama and Huckabee are the big winners at this point. The Obama win is for me personally a mixed blessing: I really would relish seeing Hillary crash and burn in the primaries, but she's also the one candidate that I think would really unify the GOP in the general election. New Hampshire is going to be really interesting next Tuesday; can Huckabee keep up the momentum? Will McCain pick up where he left off in New Hampshire? Is Obama just the surprise du jour, or is today's win really going to put a hurt on Edwards and Clinton?

I'll put my predictions for New Hampshire up on Monday; now it's time to go watch the end of the Virginia Tech - Kansas game...

200 Posts, But Not That Many Resolutions

This marks my centennial post on the blog, and somehow it seems fitting that it would come on the first day of the new year. Today, I'd like to share some of my resolutions for the coming year (at the end of the year -- or next week -- I'll give an update on how well I'm doing with them).

Keep on watching, enjoying, teaching, and learning from my two little ones. The youngest is almost to the point where she can start walking and talking, and the oldest is far enough along that she's starting to ask questions about everything -- chiefly "Why?" During the past month, a lot of the why questions have dealt with the infant Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and the angels, and she's also been curious about a lot of things going on in the world around her. It's a fun phase in which to see them both, but it's going to get more and more challenging; case in point, I had to try and explain to MB for the first time today about when people die and go to Heaven. I think I botched it to a large extent, mostly because I'm used to taking complex issues and boiling them down for folks involved in business and government -- I don't even feel remotely ready to take complex issues and boil them down for a child. Maybe there's a book on answering your kids questions out there somewhere...

Blog more. This blog is very therapeutic for me -- it gives me further practice and honing my writing skills, and also allows me to throw out ideas and thoughts that I have and try to flesh them out. 200 posts in two years isn't nearly enough, though, and so I want to get into the habit of much more writing and reflection (a hope that also applies to my off-line journal that I've been keeping for 26 years!).

Read more diversely. I tend to read in the same genres, and the same authors, all the time. This past year, I started to branch out into a few new areas for me, and I want to expand it this year. My big goal is to get through much of the writing of Yukio Mishima, Abe Kobo, and several other giants in the world of Japanese literature (in the English translations, of course). I also want to spend more time reading theological works, and learn more about other religions and denominations. I'm recognizing that my little insular Episcopal world doesn't answer all of my questions anymore -- but I'm not going anywhere; I think I can be a better Episcopalian -- and Christian -- by bringing more of a global understanding into my pew each Sunday.

Do more volunteer work. This in some ways ties into the global understanding aspect of the previous resolution. Our church, and many of our friends, are involved in a lot of different areas of volunteerism -- working at an overnight shelter for the homeless, teach English as a Second Language (ESL) courses, running a clothing bank for those looking for jobs, etc. And while A. and I provide financial support in a few areas, there hasn't been much at all in the way of direct, hands-on work. If I'm going to get more of a worldview, I need to spend more time out in the world. There are incredible numbers of organizations here in the D.C. and Northern Virginia area that are very deserving, and in great need of financial and practical assistance. I just need to find a way to get involved in them.

Be a more patient husband. I've been quick in the last year to point out to A. that she is sometimes too quick to lose her patience with our oldest -- but isn't my pointing that out to her a sign that I'm too quick to lose my patience with her? She said on her blog that she needs to work on patience; I don't think it's such a bad thing for me to work on as well.

And now, a few more crazy resolutions:

• Going with my sister on an overnight tour of the Waverly Sanatorium in Louisville, Kentucky, one of the most haunted spots in the county.
• Breaking a score of 100 in golf -- and that would be breaking it below 100; I've got the above 100 mastered.
• Get so far ahead in our housework that it only takes 20 minutes a day to tidy everything up (or is that even possible???).

Happy New Year!